Jasper
by barefootduchess
Summary: Short one shot in Jasper's own words of the time between Maria and Alice. Thinking of turning it into a longer story, let me know what you think


**A/N: I'm thinking of building a fic off of this one shot. Let me know what you think about it... some info might not be cannon; I wrote if off the top of my head.**

**Musical Inspiration: Behind Blue Eyes - Limp Bizkit (I've had this in my mind to do a Jasper fic based on this song -which reminded me of an angst ridden Jasper during his journey between Maria and Alice... only thing is, he didn't have BLUE eyes, but I would imagine that he did before his change.)**

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Jasper

I sat there, feeling the cold cement wall against my back. The screams around me, well above the level of any human hearing, pierced my mind as much as my ears. This alone would have been enough to drive any being mad.

Coupled with my extraordinary ability to feel the emotions of beings in my immediate vicinity, the pain and anguish swirling around me was too much to take. Any longer and I would be mad… and I would never recover.

I set off that night… in the cold of the winter I traveled in the darkness. On those fortunate cloudy days I traveled then too, devouring any humans that came into my path.

When I wasn't on foot I was hiding in some sunless corner of abandon buildings, crypts or derelict structures.

I had no direction, no knowledge of where I was going or where I would end up. I did not use my vampire abilities; I walked at a human pace. I was nomadic, with no will to go on, but no desire of ending my own existence.

Occasionally I would come into contact with a human who would peak my interest because what they were feeling would mirror my own self loathing. I would travel with them for as long as they were comfortable with me, which was usually no longer than a few days at most.

My conscious warred between two sides; one to embrace my fate and what I was and ignore the feelings inside… the guilt, the pain, the regret. In the end the thirst won out and I consumed another innocent life, depriving the human race of its existence.

My dreams were empty; it seemed, as my conscious or lack of one, rather. I had nothing to look forward to except this scourge of an existence.

I kept taking my vengeance on those who did not deserve it. I would find my kills becoming more and more violent. Rather than drinking to quench my thirst I would roam the country ripping and shredding my victims to unrecognizable shreds after devouring their life source.

Perhaps if I could render them into a form that was as unlike a human form as anything I knew it would make the feelings I had go away. There was not one shred of light in the existence I led then.

The few humans that I traveled with, I could not confide in. Every utterance from my lips were only lies… ever only lies.

I was a hated creature… a pestilence on the earth, who's only purpose was to thin the population as my thirst determined. I was little more than a disease, with no present and no future and a past fit only for the criminally insane.

And one evening I walked into a house of ill repute, there to lure and claim my next victim. It was a day that blended into every other that had come before… it was nothing special… but for one exception.

As I looked up to scan the crowd, through the masses of rowdy humans she turned to me, I'll never forget the look on her face.

Her tiny form sitting demurely at the bar, she stood out like a beacon in the blackness of the night. Besides her pale skin and bright red eyes, her smile, her expression. I knew immediately she was my salvation though I had no idea from when or where she came.

I walked instinctively toward her and sat down on the stool beside her. I could not speak; I was so in awe of her beauty. I felt as if I had been waiting on her all of my life.

When she spoke, her voice was like the beating of angel's wings, the ripple of water on a still lake. It was the sweetest music that ever had been composed and it was speaking to me.

"I've been waiting for you, Jasper." It said. Her eyes shining.

She told me how she had seen me in her visions and how we were meant to be together.

Far be it for me to argue; if this angel claimed she wanted me, who was I to deny her anything? I would have torn myself apart and burned the pieces myself if she had asked me to, right there and then.

If she had asked me to step out into the sunlight and bring down the wrath of the rulers on us all I would gladly have acceded.

I knew from then on that as long as either of us existed we would be inseparable, and up until now I've never left her side for longer than I had to to hunt.

She is my everything, my salvation, my angel.

I am because of her… I exist because she does. There is no other reason for my exisitance. We are… always will be… one.

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**A/N: I was thinking of doing this as an eventual JxB... any ideas?**


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